Finishing another year of homeschool I am reflecting on how God's goodness overcomes our inadequacies.  I feel completely inadequate when it comes to most of life's challenges.  At times, I have entered into certain areas of my life feeling unprepared.  Parenting is like that. No matter how many books you have read, life seems to deal out a new set of circumstances that put you in a place to trust Him more.  Each story and each chapter is unique.  Each day I must set aside and repent for the areas I was inadequate and each morning I must trust in his new mercies.

Lamentations 3:22-23 English Standard Version (ESV)

²² The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;^[a]
    his mercies never come to an end;
²³ they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Trilium in the Springtime

It's Spring 2019 and I realize that my last child just turned 18 years old and I am no longer a mother of children but of adults.  Of course, at 18 there is still much to be learned, but the focus is not so much on the parents as it is on the contribution of what the parents have taught so that the transition to adulthood can be made.  When I took this photo of the Trillium years ago in my back woods, little would I realize how much it means.  Tri being three, three leaves on the the blossum, and three leaves is such a reminder of the Trinity.  Oh, how I have needed the Tri-une God in my life, the three aspects of God which have sustained us through so many many trials.  Would I do it over again if given a choice?  That does seem to be an impossible question, one not even worth considering.  So many questions in my life are like that.  I must acknowledge for my health and well being, that God made right the crooked wrong path, he instructed in the way to go, and he used so many patient people in my life to wake me up to my selfish, inconsiderate and worldly heart. I can only pray that the years ahead will be using what I have learned rather than more selfishnesss or stubbornness.  Lord, guide me out and through my inadaquacies, too high expectations, too low or selfishness just to simply serve you and my neighbor, in Jesus name, amen.

Situations beyond my control

Part of my aim in this blog is to take what happens to us in this life through the eyes of my natural man or woman and refocus my spiritual vision , if you will , to that of the way Christ would have me see things . One of my major struggles as a young Christian , that went on for years , was that I felt that God would ease my life would provide a path , although narrow , would still be a path that was successful or at least partially so . How little did I realize that truly as in Psalm 119 read, verse 10 " … you pushed me violently that I might fall , but the Lord helped me, the Lord is my strength and song , and he has become my salvation . "

 I have realized over the years that I cannot do this on my own , I cannot be a mother , a wife , a homeschooling mother , a nurse , or really anything else without the Lord . Yes I may have success but it is temporary and fleeting , the Lord with me enables me strengthens me and ultimately I walk away reflecting on the situation with great joy and peace seeing what the Lord has done , even in the midst of a terrible situation . Situations where for instance our children made other decisions that we didn't want them to make for life just suddenly changed on us leaving us questioning God's plan questioning decisions that we've made that seemed to be God's leading , and we ask were they ? But when I wait upon the Lord I can answer with great peace in my heart knowing that even if I didn't hear the Lord correctly I can now just give that situation to him and he will help me through it . It may not be the way I wanted it to be , but the Lord knows I needed it to draw closer to him to cast my cares on him because he cares for me .

Mission Field

All of life in Christ is a mission field.  Every where I go I must prepare my heart for the challenges that face me as I move along this path of life.  Some say, we are seeking God, but scripture tells us that we are not seeking after God but really seeking for our own self preservation.  My mission field has been, up to now, my family and raising my 4 children.  I have prayed for each of their salvations and for Jesus to do whatever it takes so that they know Him.  Our situations have not always been comfortable and easy, but the Lord came first.  We laugh over the years of homeschool when I over focused on devotions, trying to help them see how special they are to the Lord.  I wanted them, above all, to know the Love of Christ, that will win them and guide them through any situation they will face in their life.  This is the ultimate importance, that our children learn the love that will sustain them, guide them, and ultimately they will fall back on while moving on this path of life.

We recently returned from my first distant missions trip.  I was filled with a sense of awe how people in this distant land want the same for their children in their little church.  Love, joy, peace, kindness, mercy and grace.  We are all seeking that in our hearts, every day.  This is what Christ does, giving us this fruit that overflows in our hearts and we may go and share it whereever our mission field is today.

Homeschool support and encouragement

Thinking today about how God uses Homeschool to reveal the Love of God for our children.  God loves our children more than I can.  Some days are filled with joy, but other days have challenges that try to separate us.  I will never let a day go by to separate my love from my children, as I know that my primary goal when homeschooling is to love my child.  No matter what struggle we are in, love is primary.  I must creatively share truth with expressions of love.  I must correct in love. That doesn't necessarily mean I am not firm, but I read my child to see that he may not be ready to receive correction, but he always knows that he is dearly loved and appreciated by me and mostly, our heavenly Father.